The most common issue I talk to clients about is how to deal with conflict that naturally arises during the change process. I’m sure you’ve experienced it yourself – you announce change and you get a wide range of responses from your audience from active and obvious conflict such as verbal disagreement to the not so obvious conflict of passive resistance. Whilst conflict is a normal and natural part of change, people’s response to it is not standard by any means. You announce change and some people don’t seem to mind it, some people avoid it like the plague and others seem to thrive on it or create more of it to to function. There is no “right or wrong way” to approach change as we are all wired differently so we naturally approach things differently.
However to manage others through change well you first need to know manage yourself well. And this starts with understanding how you are motivated and approach certain situations, especially conflict. Some people are motivated by moving away from something whilst others are motivated by moving toward something. This is clearly evident in peoples approach to change. Those who are moving away motivated move away from what they perceive is painful. This results in behaviour such as avoiding conflict, procrastinating in dealing with difficult conversations and delegating rather than do something themselves if they don’t want to do it. Those on the other hand who are moving toward motivated are more likely to engage with or even create conflict if they perceive it is necessary in achieve a desired outcome, such as reaching a project milestone or key KPI. The motivation in achieving the goal overcomes having to deal with the conflict that is in the way.
How understanding why people either avoid or embrace conflict can minimize change resistance . Click To TweetFailing to understand your unique motivation will cause you to approach conflict blindly. You aren’t aware of how you or others will perceive and react to the conflict. By understanding if you tend to avoid conflict, this awareness can help you understand why you feel nervous about a difficult conversation or find yourself procrastinating. Likewise if you are aware that you don’t mind conflict or often use conflict to manage people, it’s important to know that not everyone responds to this style and you may need to learn other, more relational or collaborative styles, of leadership to help people embrace change.
As you begin to understand your motivation you can better prepare for the situations you find more difficult or challenging. Likewise it helps you tailor your communication to be more influential, as you can communicate in a way that is more natural to the other person. If someone is backpedaling away from a confrontation, becoming more confrontational in order to get a response, will result in you loosing rapport with that person, even if you elicit a response. But by choosing to be less confrontational and choosing to communicate in away that’s more familiar and comfortable with them, you will still elicit a response, but this time will maintain or even build rapport and trust which is crucial in maintaining engagement throughout the change initiative.
Q: Think about you natural disposition toward conflict? Do you tend to avoid it or are not afraid to create it if you deem it necessary? Leave your comments below. Subscribe for regular updates and insights.